Quiet candidates, colorful resumes, and asshole house centipedes

Calm up-and-comers, beautiful resumes, and butt nugget house centipedes 2 Flares 2 Flares Im as of now somewhat depleted, harsh from spending a lot on cleaning, and longing for a bison chicken wrap that will be difficult to get my hands on the present moment. These issues could possibly be the explanation Im going to empty a weighty tirade on the world. All things considered, whatever the explanation, attempt to appreciate. I realize I will. Things that are at present on my crap list Calm Candidates At the point when I call you for a telephone screen, I have to hear you obviously. To do this, you can control a couple of variables. Here they are: Discover an area where you wont be hindered or be heard by individuals that shouldnt hear your discussion Call from a telephone that permits me to hear you noisy and clear Call from an area where we won't be cut off or hindered Let me survey the abovementioned. Dont call me when you are around your chief or different workers. Your murmurs suck. I detest them. Dont call me from your feeble ass mobile phone that dunks all through help. Clear? Alright Alright, so then we have some different things that you could possibly have the option to control, however most likely can deal with. Here they are: Make some noise Dont mutter Be decisive Be confident or at any rate sound sure In the event that youre ready to deal with the four things above, at that point youre on top of things in a major manner. In the event that another applicant has more understanding and more ability than you, you may very well plunge in and take the activity from them with your relational abilities. It occurs. Vivid Resumes Resumes needn't bother with shading to stick out. Cornz likes his resume world to sparkle splendidly clearly. At the point when I see a tad of shading I grin, when I see a huge amount of shading I wince. Designs that you transfer onto your resume are additionally a colossal exercise in futility. In addition to the fact that I think they are somewhat faltering, yet they additionally may prevent your resume from being examined accurately into an Applicant Tracking System. Give me dark content and loads of blank area for my eyes. Much obliged. House Centipeds Go eat an ass, house centipedes. The house I moved into is astounding and I do cherish it. Justevery every so often I see a house centipede and they are the most exceedingly awful. I loathe them and the entirety of their inept legs. Sorry creature darlings, yet Im like John Rambo when I see one of these suckers. My rundown of weapons incorporate shoes, water, vacuums, paper towels, magazines, and news papers. Sick take the necessary steps to decimate them. I trust they decay in hellfire with smell bugs.

Is a Job as a Loan Officer Right for You - Work It Daily

Is a Job as a Loan Officer Right for You - Work It Daily Thought about seeking after a vocation as a Banker? This meeting takes you through the high points and low points you can expect, the stuff to get the activity, what you can hope to win and then some. This is a genuine vocation story as advised to DiversityJobs and is one of numerous meetings with monetary organizers and brokers. I am an advance official. My claim to fame is contract advances. I have been in this profession since March of 2006. I assist individuals with achieving money related objectives. In some cases that implies I need to assist individuals with seeing the upsetting truth of their specific circumstance. For example, when a client comes into my office requesting a home loan to buy a home he can't bear, I need to clarify reality in a positive light. The objective is to make things so certain that the client winds up concurring with the advance choice. I likewise make auto and individual advances. I take credit applications face to face and via telephone. I assess customer spending plans from the point of view of obligation to salary proportion. I can't affirm a credit that sends the proportion over the 50 percent mark. I won't favor a solidification credit that doesn't support the client. I should have a profound comprehension of advance projects. This incorporates all legislature supported and in-house programs. Some of the time a client comes in hoping to take one sort of home loan, yet winds up in an alternate program. In the event that I didn't comprehend the projects, I would not have the option to enable numerous clients to discover an answer. Before I was an investor, I believed that on the off chance that I was neighborly, and indicated my extraordinary demeanor, I would get the advance. At times I wonder if individuals understand that even the rudest, most noticeably terrible dressed, stinky clients get advances when they are able to pay them. Clients think about choices literally, both great and terrible ones. Brokers get yearly reviews. It doesn't make a difference how much an investor is persuaded of a client's readiness to pay; supporting unfit applications can push me into large difficulty. In any event, when the client's uprightness and want are large to the point that he makes each installment on schedule, if the application was unfit, I have set the customer into a hazard circumstance; that is illicit. I love my activity. It is a rush to see the grin all over when I have quite recently endorsed a union advance that spares the client $300 every month and gets her free and clear five years sooner. Probably the best delight is accepting a voyage through a home fabricated utilizing assets from a credit I started. I am bilingual in Spanish and English. Huge numbers of my clients like to work together in Spanish. I love being their go-to individual. My customers appreciate working with me since they can pose inquiries legitimately, without getting their youngster to decipher. I got my degree in budgetary bookkeeping. I worked all day at the bank while considering on the web. I was a back-office representative. I had work called doc-prep. The name of the position is another way to say archive arrangement. I composed credit records for loan specialists such as myself. Presently, I request credits from a similar office. Once I was helping a client with a home loan advance for purchasing a home. These credits experience financiers for endorsement. My financier made an error, and endorsed the credit. I told everybody included the updates on the endorsement. The following day she got back to me to disclose to me she had committed an error; the credit endorsement was still acceptable, however the client expected to bring $2,000 to shutting. The cash must be in the customer's record, and checked by guaranteeing days before shutting. My client didn't have the cash. The real estate agent considered me like clockwork taking steps to sue me, and the bank. She took steps to whine to my chief. I needed to state, Come and get me, yet shouldn't something be said about my client? I wound up advancing my client the cash out of my own pocket, making all the difference. The client and I are as yet incredible companions, however I will never search for business at a specific real estate agent's office again. In school, you step through an exam for an evaluation; in the working scene, your prosperity relies on finishing the little assessments that come your way regularly. One peculiar thing that has transpired at work was that I had a client start giving birth in my office. Luckily, I got her to a taxi on schedule. I love meeting people in general. I appreciate shaping connections. I am pleased with the way that the bank made the situation for me by and by. My office has high perceivability signage reporting, Spanish is spoken. I like the trust my clients place in me. My customers realize they are free to appear at whenever and in any way, shape or form. I help them to comprehend credit issues, store account questions, protection, and then some. Sometimes, I even go with clients to decipher elsewhere, for example, the standardized savings office. First-time homebuyer advances are upsetting. The customer must give a not insignificant rundown of documentation. There is generally a real estate agent included. My main responsibility is to speak to the bank well. I need to keep up a positive tone consistently, this makes clients feel that the arrangement is going to close regardless; that isn't right. Anything I demand from the client could send the arrangement down the cylinders. Anything I demand from the real estate agent about the home could have a similar outcome. I am the one in particular who is intensely mindful. I truly can't give any sign to the next two gatherings, in such a case that I do, they will take their business to a bank that can grin through the pressure. I get paid on a compensation in addition to commission plan. The normal pay in my profession is somewhere in the range of $45,000 and $60,000 every year. My best partners win six figures. I couldn't imagine anything better than to procure more cash. I take three weeks of excursion for each year, which is bounty. I like to split it up. I take a couple of days near the special seasons, while my youngsters are on an excursion from school. At that point I take two or three weeks in the mid year, once in a while I split those fourteen days. I have a four year college education in money related bookkeeping. I have seen individuals in this activity who have a great deal of bank understanding, yet no degree. It can occur, however having the instruction is consistently an or more on the resume. I would tell a companion that in the event that she enjoys having a ton of obligation, being fit for working autonomously while likewise taking a shot at a group, this activity is for her. I would do what I do now, just my creation would be high to such an extent that my salary would be over $10,000 every month. Advance official occupation picture from Shutterstock Have you joined our vocation development club?Join Us Today!

Elevate your Cover Letter with 3 Simple Tests

Lift your Cover Letter with 3 Simple Tests Hoist Your Cover Letter With 3 Simple Tests How would you get your introductory letter to hang out in the heap? By utilizing the heap to your advantage. Your application bundle is newly reformatted and has no grammatical mistakes so for what reason would you say you aren't getting any meetings? As far as I can tell as a recruiting administrator and an official mentor, your introductory letter might be the appropriate response. Spotters (and employing supervisors) can spend as meager as six seconds on your application bundle. With many possibility to consider, approaching email pings, and colleagues going in and out, they are occupied, diverted, and spread far. All in all, how would you get your introductory letter to hang out in the heap? By utilizing the heap to further your potential benefit. Leave me alone blunt. Most introductory letters in that heap are not incredible. To begin, they utilize the word energy a great deal. They proceed to state some form of I am a reliable, driven, spurred self-starter with extraordinary time the executives aptitudes. So, they are excessively nonexclusive and excessively centered around the up-and-comer (the I-me-my condition). In the event that you figure you could utilize introductory letter help, you are in karma. I have three tests and introductory letter tips that can reveal the issues with your introductory letter. These tests depend on an incredible book Do It! Promoting by David Newman. Do you have your introductory letter printed? Amazing. We should play - start with the principal introductory letter tip beneath! The Black marker test Get a dark marker, and dark out your name on the introductory letter. Would it be able to be confused with somebody else's? Would you be able to simply remove an alternate name and glue it in without anybody being the more astute? Similarly, might you be able to pass out the name of the organization you tended to it to, and supplant it with another organization? The So what? test Take a gander at each announcement you make in your introductory letter, and pose yourself one convincing inquiry: So what? Does your introductory letter offer a convincing, esteem based answer? The Prove it! test Steven Levitt, creator of Freakonomics, refers to inquire about assessing that 50 percent of individuals lie on their application bundle. Employing chiefs accept that a decent segment of resumes and introductory letters in their audit heap are not honest. Do you demonstrate any of your announcements? How did your introductory letter do in these tests? On the off chance that it bombed one (or each of the three) of the tests, congrats. Since we recognize what isn't working, we can hop into augmenting your introductory letter's potential for effect and association with introductory letter tips. On the off chance that your introductory letter bombed the Black Marker test, you have an individual marking separate. Transform your introductory letter into a unique message If it's not too much trouble erase To the responsible party in question and the remainder of standard language from your introductory letter. I realize that you may have utilized a layout, which makes it simple for you to convey 10 application bundles in less than 2 hours, however that approach isn't helping you stick out, so let us take a stab at something else. Here's a portion of our best introductory letter help: Start with a new piece of paper, take a full breath, close your eyes, and imagine that the recruiting supervisor is a person (as an aside, she would value it on the off chance that you did the schoolwork and discovered her genuine name). Presently, imagine that you have known this individual for a considerable length of time. Perhaps she has a pooch, abhors sushi, likes to watch The Bachelor, and has an employment opportunity she needs filled yesterday. What might you say to her? Feature your qualities Avoid the conventional I have great relational abilities for I am a specialist communicator with experience uniting differing foundations to take care of an issue. It is longer, yet in addition more grounded and increasingly explicit. Everybody has a superpower know and own yours! On the off chance that you experience difficulty characterizing your qualities, consider utilizing an apparatus like Strengthsfinder, or ask your partners and your family what they can generally rely on you for. Convey what your identity is, your main thing, and who you do it for The most unnerving thing about close to home marking is that it characterizes you which implies you are not, at this point an ideal fit for each chance. On the off chance that you state you are a specialist at unraveling the IT puzzles for little and medium size proficient help firms, you are not exactly as appealing to huge enterprises that sell gadgets. Is it accurate to say that you will settle on a vital choice to relinquish a few chances and in return become the ideal decision for a medium-size counseling firm that needs an incorporated IT arrangement? In the event that your introductory letter bombed the So what? test, our next introductory letter tip is to associate what you never really esteem it conveys for the organization. Address a particular test that the organization (or the business) is confronting Understanding industry challenges is a fabulous method to exhibit your aptitude. How would you realize what to compose? Straightforward. Google it. Search for late official statements, transcripts from quarterly examiner calls (in the event that it is a traded on an open market organization), and astounding industry insights and realities. At that point, interface the test to your range of abilities. Show the peruser that you are prepared and ready to assist them with illuminating the riddle. On the off chance that your introductory letter bombed the Prove it! test, your following stage is to help your announcements. Weave in solid instances of progress Make a rundown of your accomplishments, and select a not many that are pertinent for this activity. Did you get a bigger number of givers than any other person to the most recent pledge drive? Did you abbreviate the review time period from four months to five weeks? You will probably exhibit that you accomplished more than just punch in and keep a seat warm from 9 to 5. Associate your accomplishments to esteem for the organization. Use tributes and statements from your past exhibition audits On the off chance that your customers, colleagues or supervisors truly delighted in working with you, or if your presentation surveys have some especially astonishing analysis, you can mesh those pieces into the introductory letter. They fill in as an affirmation of your qualities, and fortify that you are amiable, will work superbly, and will fit in with the group. In outline, conventional introductory letters don't work. They might rush to create (those discover and supplant works in Word sure are effective at changing organization names in a second!) however they don't do anything to feature your fit, exhibit your qualities, or show authentic enthusiasm for joining this particular organization. In the event that you are going put time and exertion into an application, make the recruiting chief grin by utilizing these recommendations to make your introductory letter individual, directed, and appealing. Need assistance with your resume? Exploit our free scrutinize today! Photograph credit: Justin Smith/Wikimedia Commons,CC-By-SA-3.0 Related Articles:

How to Quit Your Job - Resigning

Step by step instructions to Quit Your Job - Resigning Step by step instructions to Quit Your Job - Resigning Turning in your abdication isnt in every case simple, regardless of whether you detest your activity or chief or cant hold back to begin another position. Regardless of whether you are going to be terminated, it tends to be hard to leave prudently. On the off chance that you are thinking about leaving a vocation, here are some significant focuses to thoroughly consider before you turn in your renunciation. Most importantly, be certain that you truly would like to stop. Here are the top admonition signs that its opportunity to search for a new position. Likewise, heres a rundown of good (and terrible) purposes behind leaving your job, and a rundown of reasons why it probably won't be a smart thought to leave your place of employment immediately. Ensure that youre leaving for the correct reasons, as opposed to stopping on the grounds that youre having an awful week and it appears as though it wont show signs of improvement at any point in the near future. On the off chance that you are sure that you need to stop, handle your acquiescence as cautiously as you would deal with some other business attempt. Its consistently shrewd to not cut off ties. No one can tell when you will require your past businesses for a reference. 1:39 Watch Now: 7 Tips for Quitting Your Job Audit Resignation Pros and Cons Before you settle on the choice to stop, be certain beyond a shadow of a doubt this is the correct choice. You dont realize to what extent it will take for a business to proceed onward and fill your position on the off chance that you adjust your perspective. In the event that youre still vacillating about the following position you are thinking about taking, inquire as to whether you can go through a day in the workplace shadowing the staff. It might fortify your choice to take the position or assist you with choosing you dont need the new position all things considered. Gauge the Options Do you have another proposition for employment? Provided that this is true, gauge the upsides and downsides of the new position versus your present position. Think about the workplace, adaptability, compensation, and advantages notwithstanding the activity duties. What about chances to progress? On the off chance that the new position comes up ahead generally speaking and you feel sure this is the correct change to make, dont dither. On the off chance that you dont have another position arranged, think about the rudiments before stopping. It will take around three to a half year, some of the time longer, to get another line of work. Except if you quit for a decent purpose, you may not be qualified for joblessness benefits. Do you have enough reserve funds or other pay to oversee monetarily? Regardless of whether your work circumstance isnt the best, you should consider clinging to the activity you have, just as your check, and start your pursuit of employment before you leave. That familiar axiom that its simpler to get a new line of work when you have a vocation holds valid. Give Adequate Notice On the off chance that you have a work contract that states how much notification you should give, maintain it. Something else, its suitable to offer fourteen days notice. In any case, at times, you may feel that you can't remain for another couple of weeks. You Have No Obligation to Stay Longer On the off chance that your manager requests that you remain longer than about fourteen days (or the timespan in your agreement) you have no commitment to remain. Your new boss will anticipate that you should begin as planned, and in a convenient way. What you could do is offer to support your past manager, if vital, twilight, by means of email or on the telephone. The most effective method to Quit Gracefully The proper method to leave is to compose an acquiescence letter and to tell your manager in person that youre leaving. Be that as it may, contingent upon conditions, you may need to stop via telephone or to stop by means of email. Compose a Resignation Letter Despite how you resign, compose an acquiescence letter. A abdication letter can assist you with keeping up a positive relationship with your old manager, while making ready for you to proceed onward. No one can tell when you may require that old manager to give you a reference, so it bodes well to require some investment to compose a cleaned and expert renunciation letter. What to Say to Your Boss Dont state substantially more than you are leaving. Stress the positive and discussion about how the organization has profited you, yet in addition notice that its opportunity to proceed onward. Offer to help during the progress and a while later. Dont be negative. Theres no point - youre leaving and you need to leave on great footing. Here are tips on what to state when you quit your place of employment and heres a rundown of explanations behind leaving a vocation to audit. Likewise, put forth a valiant effort to not say something embarrassing. Be readied, also, to deal with a post employment survey. Request a Reference Before you leave, request a letter of proposal from your supervisor. Over the long haul and individuals proceed onward, its simple to forget about past bosses. With a letter close by or a LinkedIn proposal on the web, youll have documentation of your accreditations to impart to forthcoming businesses. Dont Forget the Details Get some answers concerning the representative advantages and pay you are qualified for get after leaving. Ask about gathering unused excursion and debilitated compensation, and continuing, trading in for spendable dough, or turning over your 401(k) or other annuity plan. You might be approached to take part in a post employment survey preceding your flight. Survey test post employment survey inquiries to get a thought of what youll be asked during a post employment survey. Return Company Property Return any organization property you have - including keys, reports, PCs, telephones, and whatever else that doesnt have a place with you. The organization doesnt need to pursue you to get it back, and you dont need to be considered capable if its not returned in an auspicious way. Before you turn in your renunciation, survey these acquiescence dos and donts and leave as smoothly as could reasonably be expected.

Its Time to Show Off Your Talent On Your LinkedIn Profile

Its Time to Show Off Your Talent On Your LinkedIn Profile Are you looking for a better way to represent your career and life experiences? You can easily show them off with photos, videos and samples of work, however, you dont need to build a website to have an online portfolio LinkedIn is your answer! Visual content is better: Your LinkedIn profile is more than just a boring online resume adding images will enhance your profile.  Studies have shown that websites with good quality photos are more trusted than those with no images or poor quality images and, according to urban legend, our brains process images faster than text! So by adding images to your LinkedIn profile  it looks more credible  AND you get your message across faster! Adding visual elements to your LinkedIn profile will entice, lure and garner the interest of people reading your profile. Most, if not  all, LinkedIn users have the ability to add photos, screen shots, video and audio content to their profiles. What media can you add to your profile? By: Link Humans LinkedIn says it officially supports images,  presentations, documents,  video, and audio by certain providers listed  here. For example, if there is a YouTube video featuring you on a panel discussion or giving a presentation, you can link it to your profile. You can even upload files from your computer such as Powerpoint presentations, documents and images. Where can you put it? You can embed media at the end of your summary, within each position listed in your  experience  section, and in your  education  section. All you have to do is edit your profile and look for the little blue box. Of course, you will have to upload or link to content, so What Media and Talents to Showcase Any sample of your work would work. The media you choose needs to provide proof you know how to do what you say on your profile. You can also think about what differentiates you from the hundreds of people who have the same job title as you: Is there a picture of you receiving an award? Have you given a presentation or spoken at a conference? Have you written articles? What would you show during an interview to prove you have the skills to do the job? These are the images, articles and content you can create and publish yourself online. Think of your LinkedIn profile as an online portfolio! You will need to begin collecting screen shots and links that supply visual proof of your expertise, talent and personality. More profile content ideas: You may have letters of recommendation from people who arent on LinkedIn. You can scan them and upload the letter. Or take customer quotes from emails and create a testimonial document or presentation. Just be sure you either get permission or omit identifying information. Maybe you are a guru and creating Excel pivot tables. Film a screen cast showing how you convert the data and upload it to YouTube. Voila! RELATED:  How to Maximize Your  LinkedIn Profile You dont have anything? If you don’t have anything, create it! You can create a Powerpoint highlighting your accomplishments or telling your story. If you want some ideas, search SlideShare using the term visual resume and see what other people have created. If you are interested in creating something a bit jazzier than Powerpoint, you may want to test Prezi.com. Search this site using the term visual cv. Think creatively: The options are endless. You can get ideas from corporate marketing campaigns too! Inspiration is all around you. Begin thinking about how you will market yourself and start clipping! RELATED:  How to Create the Perfect  LinkedIn Profile

How to Make Your Reddit: Resume Writing Process Easy

How to Make Your Reddit: Resume Writing Process EasyIf you are wondering how to make your Reddit: Resume writing an easy process, you might want to consider the idea of utilizing a reliable resume writing service. Resume writing services can offer you the same benefits of working with an employment specialist but you also get the opportunity to network with your peers. Resume writing services work in three different steps to help you write the perfect resume.The first step is to ask around to find out who has completed the best Resume writing job. It is best to choose a freelance service that specializes in resume writing rather than the usual free services that you usually find in your local yellow pages. This will help you compare prices and services available.The second step is to create a description of your skills for the writer to work with. Use language that is specific and easy to read and that will help establish your work history. Ask your friend or family member to help wi th the content because they can provide valuable input in a professional manner.The third step is to create an outline for potential employers to follow when hiring you. Determine the type of position you are applying for and what it is about. Make sure you include all required information in this section. It should be informative and help them determine if they are hiring the right candidate.After these three steps have been completed, you will have the ability to organize your resume, make it look nice, and put together a professional letter. If you would like, you can personalize your letter so that it will reflect who you are as a person. You should always use the same tone and type of language when speaking to a potential employer.You may be wondering why you would need to hire a company to write your resume. The reason is that you already know how to do it yourself. The benefit is that you will have access to the same opportunities that other individuals have, but without havi ng to pay for them.Free services can also be found online. However, they are limited to the number of resumes they can deliver in one day. A professional resume writing service is similar in cost, but they have the ability to create resume after resume. Therefore, you will have a better chance of being contacted in the future.Make sure that you choose a service that can deliver resumes quickly and efficiently. This is important to help you get your foot in the door and land the job that you want.

Keeping an eye on my career while I go through a divorce

Keeping an eye on my career while I go through a divorce Let me first say that my lawyer is not happy when I blog about my divorce. But now that Ive been in a front-page article of the New York Times for blogging about the divorce, I think weve passed the point of discretion. And anyway, I think its okay to blog because I am the transparent type, so it would be weird for me to have this huge thing in my life and not write anything about it. How is this blog at the intersection of work and life if I cut out the life? Also, I noticed that Nino has started commenting on my recent divorce posts, and he seems to be updating my family about our divorce via Facebook, so at this point I feel that all is fair in social media. And maybe working out ones divorce is going to be the killer app for Twitter. So the first thing Ive done to make sure the divorce doesnt undermine my career is that Im not pretending that it is irrelevant to my career. But here are some other steps Ive decided are important for trying to keep both the divorce and the career on track. 1. Surround yourself with smart people. Theyll help you make faster progress. I hired the two top attorneys. As if there is top anything in little Madison, Wisconsin. But alas, in any sea, there are big fish. I spend most of my time worrying that Nino routinely complains of me stealing our marital assets. Like, hell mention it while were watching a soccer game, or under his breath taking the kids to violin class. Usually this accusation is reserved for men who buy a yacht and a condo for a hot little mistress and twelve first-class airfares to see her. So the accusation wont hold for me. But still, my attorney decided that our best strategy is make sure that Nino has a great attorney so it is two smart lawyers who are used to negotiating with each other and things will go faster. I hope this is a good strategy. If my site starts loading slower youll know that the lawyers have been so expensive that I had to cut back on bandwidth. 2. Be consistent be the same in the divorce as youd be in your work Our first official divorce fight was Nino refusing to refer to me as Penelope in his emails. I told him he has to use Penelope, but I tried to say it in a nice email so that we were not having animosity. In my heart of hearts I still believe the most important thing is to be nice. So we tried. He wrote a long email about how my old namewhich Im not even writing here because Im so done with itis more appropriate. I ignored the email. He ignored my pleas. Its like were still married. Oh. Wait. We are. 3. Keep a sense of humor it gives you fresh perspective. Surprisingly though, our efforts to downplay the divorce animosity are paying off. For example, on Mothers Day, Nino agreed to go on a hike with me and our kids and our eight-year-old neighbor who spends tons of time at our house. It was a big favor for him to do because Im the one who really wants the kids to feel like were still a family, and Im the one who likes hiking. On the hike, the boys comforted me by being their normal boy selves, and they turned mud piles into cannon balls and every long stick became a sword. We sat down to rest at a campsite. Nino said, Wow, they have everything at the campsite, even a place to chop wood. If you have a hatchet. The eight-year-old neighbor says, We have a hatchet at our house. My moms boyfriend bought it for her last Valentines Day. Nino and I looked at each other, incredulous, and smiled. And for one, small second I felt like we were a familythe parents sharing an inside joke while the kids try to kill each other. 4. Be a good time manager; the divorce takes time, so manage it well Ignoring the fact that my lawyers time is probably more expensive than mine, I had him meet me at McDonalds. I had breakfast with my two-year-old and then, while he was crawling up and down in Ronalds Playland, I gave my lawyer a summary of our debts and assets. My son asked two or three times who the guy was. I said, Its my friend, Allan. And as I said it I thought maybe this would make it so I get the hourly rate for friends. (Do divorce lawyers have any friends?) My son offered Allan an ice cream, which he declined, (and then Allans clock ticked in Playland while I bought my son the most expensive ice cream ever purchased.) Then my son asked if Allan wanted to go down the slide. He asked if Allan was coming to our house. All this made me wonder about eventually bringing home some guy to live with us. Though honestly I cant wrap my head around integrating another man into our life beyond some guy coming to Playland with us. But I know it happens. I know that somehow women work this out in their lives. And since I learn so fast from stories, could people write stories in the comments section about how they introduced a step-parent successfully? 5. Be honest. If you are shady about your divorce people will think youre shady about everything. It would be so fake to tell you that Im not worried. Im very worried. Im worried that Ill never fall in love. Thats normal, right? I mean, I know its normal if you are fifteen and get dumped, so it must be true now, too. Im also worried about money. How does anyone separate their career from their divorce? A divorce comes with a promise to earn a certain amount of money. All the things Ive done in my life to insure that I have flexibility to do whatever career I want could be going down the tubes. Im very scared about that. I also worry that you are only reading this stuff because Im a train wreck. People like reading about other peoples divorces because they feel better about keeping their own marriage together. So, okay. I hope I can make some of you feel smug today, because sometimes I write posts and Im the one feeling smug. We should all get our chance.